Proverbs 5:20

Proverbs 5:20 asks a powerful question about marriage and faithfulness. In this chapter, God teaches about the importance of staying true to your husband or wife. This verse challenges us to think about why anyone would give up the good relationship they have for something that will only bring pain and regret. It's a reminder that God's plan for marriage is designed to protect us and bring us true happiness.

The Verse in Different Translations

Let's look at how different Bible versions translate this important verse:

"Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man's wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?"

— Proverbs 5:20 (NIV)

"Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?"

— Proverbs 5:20 (ESV)

"And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?"

— Proverbs 5:20 (KJV)

"Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?"

— Proverbs 5:20 (NLT)

What Does This Verse Mean?

Proverbs 5:20 is asking a question that makes us think. It's asking: "Why would you be unfaithful to your husband or wife?" Let's break down what this verse is really saying:

"Why, my son..."

The verse starts by calling the reader "my son," which shows this is a father giving advice to his child. In the Bible, this kind of teaching was meant for everyone—both sons and daughters. The father is speaking with love and concern, trying to protect his child from making a terrible mistake.

The word "why" is important. It's not just saying "don't do this." It's asking the reader to stop and think about why they would ever want to do something so harmful. Sometimes the best way to avoid a mistake is to really think about why it would be foolish to make it in the first place.

"Be intoxicated with another man's wife" or "embrace the bosom of a wayward woman"

The verse uses strong language to describe being unfaithful. Words like "intoxicated" and "captivated" show how adultery can make people lose control of their good judgment. It's like being drunk—you stop thinking clearly and make choices you'll regret later.

An "adulteress" or "wayward woman" means someone who is not your husband or wife. The Bible teaches that physical intimacy is meant only for marriage. When people share that closeness outside of marriage, it breaks trust, hurts families, and goes against God's plan for how relationships should work.

Understanding the Full Context

To really understand Proverbs 5:20, we need to see what comes before and after it. Let's read verses 18-23 together:

"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man's wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? For your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths. The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast. For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly."

— Proverbs 5:18-23 (NIV)

This passage shows us the complete picture. Verses 18-19 describe how wonderful marriage is supposed to be—filled with joy, love, and satisfaction. Then verse 20 asks the question: Why would you throw away something so good? The following verses remind us that God sees everything we do, and sin has consequences that trap us.

God's Plan Is Always Better

Notice how the verses before Proverbs 5:20 talk about how great marriage should be. God wants husbands and wives to find deep happiness and satisfaction with each other. Verse 20 then asks why anyone would look for that happiness somewhere else. The answer is clear: they shouldn't, because what God has planned for marriage is always better than any alternative.

When we're faithful to our spouse, we get to experience the kind of love that keeps growing stronger over many years. When we're unfaithful, we destroy that trust and hurt everyone involved.

Practical Teaching Points

What can we learn from Proverbs 5:20 for our daily lives?

1. Marriage Is Worth Protecting

If you're married, this verse reminds you that your marriage is precious and worth protecting. Don't let anything or anyone come between you and your spouse. Guard your relationship by staying loyal, keeping your promises, and choosing each day to love your husband or wife.

2. Think About Consequences Before Acting

The question "why would you do this?" makes us stop and think. Before you make any choice that could hurt your marriage or future marriage, ask yourself: "What will happen if I do this? Is it worth it?" Usually, when we really think about the consequences, we realize the answer is no.

3. Sexual Intimacy Is Special

God created physical closeness to be shared only between a husband and wife. This isn't because God wants to keep something good away from us. It's because He knows that this kind of intimacy creates a powerful bond that is meant to be protected within marriage. When we follow God's plan, we avoid a lot of pain and heartbreak.

4. Prepare for Marriage Even Before You're Married

Even if you're not married yet, this verse teaches you important lessons. The choices you make now about relationships and purity will affect your future marriage. Decide now that you'll be faithful, and practice self-control and respect in all your relationships.

5. God Sees Everything

Verse 21 reminds us that "your ways are in full view of the Lord." Some people think they can be unfaithful in secret, but nothing is hidden from God. He knows our thoughts, our actions, and our intentions. Living with the awareness that God sees everything helps us make better choices.

6. Sin Traps Us

Verse 22 warns that "the cords of their sins hold them fast." This means that when we start down the path of unfaithfulness, it can be hard to stop. One bad choice can lead to another. That's why it's so important to never start down that path in the first place.

Common Questions About This Verse

Why does the Bible talk so much about adultery?

The Bible talks about adultery a lot because it's one of the most damaging sins to families and communities. When a husband or wife is unfaithful, it doesn't just hurt two people—it affects children, extended family, friends, and even the wider community. God cares deeply about protecting families, which is why He warns us so strongly against adultery.

Is this verse only for men?

No, even though it says "my son," the principle applies to everyone—both men and women. Throughout Proverbs, the wisdom applies to all people. Both husbands and wives are called to be faithful to each other. In fact, the Bible teaches in many places that adultery is wrong for both men and women.

What if someone has already been unfaithful?

If someone has committed adultery, they need to truly repent (turn away from that sin), confess to God, and usually also confess to their spouse. The Bible teaches that God can forgive all sins when we genuinely repent. Many marriages have been healed after adultery, but it takes time, honesty, counseling, and a real commitment to change. The road to healing is difficult but possible with God's help.

How can I protect my marriage from this sin?

There are many practical ways to protect your marriage: avoid situations where you're alone with someone you might be attracted to, don't have close emotional friendships with people of the opposite sex outside your marriage, be honest with your spouse about your feelings and struggles, pray together regularly, and keep your marriage relationship strong by spending quality time together.

What about before marriage?

The principle of faithfulness starts before marriage. When you're dating or engaged, you're preparing for a faithful marriage. The Bible teaches that sexual intimacy is meant for marriage only. Practicing self-control before marriage helps you develop the character you'll need to be faithful in marriage.

Related Bible Verses

Here are other verses that teach similar lessons about faithfulness and marriage:

"You shall not commit adultery."

— Exodus 20:14

This is one of the Ten Commandments that God gave to Moses. It shows how important faithfulness in marriage is to God—important enough to be one of His ten most basic rules for living.

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

— Matthew 5:28

Jesus taught that adultery starts in the mind before it becomes an action. If we let ourselves think impure thoughts about someone who isn't our spouse, we're already going down the wrong path. This shows us we need to guard our thoughts, not just our actions.

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

— Hebrews 13:4

This New Testament verse reminds us that marriage is something special that should be respected and protected. Sexual intimacy within marriage is pure and good, but sexual sin outside of marriage brings judgment.

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body."

— 1 Corinthians 6:18

Paul tells us to run away from sexual sin. It's not enough to just try to resist it—we need to actively flee from situations that might tempt us. Sexual sin is especially serious because it affects us in a unique and deep way.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

— Proverbs 4:23

This verse from earlier in Proverbs teaches us that faithfulness starts in our heart. If we protect our heart and keep it focused on what's right, our actions will follow. This means being careful about what we watch, read, listen to, and think about.

How to Apply This Verse Today

Here are practical ways to apply the truth of Proverbs 5:20 to your life:

If you're married: Make your spouse your priority. Spend quality time together, communicate openly about your feelings, and show affection regularly. A strong marriage is the best protection against unfaithfulness.
Set clear boundaries: Decide ahead of time what situations or relationships you'll avoid to protect your faithfulness. Don't put yourself in situations where temptation might be strong.
Guard what you watch and read: Movies, TV shows, books, and social media that glorify or normalize adultery can weaken your commitment to faithfulness. Choose entertainment that supports healthy marriages.
Be honest about temptation: If you find yourself attracted to someone who isn't your spouse (or future spouse), talk to a trusted Christian friend, pastor, or counselor. Don't try to handle it alone.
Pray for your marriage: Ask God daily to help you stay faithful and to strengthen your love for your spouse. Prayer is a powerful tool for protecting your relationship.
Plan for your future marriage: If you're not married yet, decide now that you'll be faithful. Practice self-control and purity in your dating relationships. The habits you build now will carry into your marriage.
Support other marriages: Encourage married friends, don't gossip about marriages in trouble, and never do anything that could come between a husband and wife. We should all work to protect and support marriages in our community.

Modern Connections

The principle of Proverbs 5:20 appears in many areas of modern life:

In Movies and TV Shows

Unfortunately, many movies and shows today portray adultery as exciting, romantic, or not that serious. But real life isn't like the movies. The entertainment industry often doesn't show the real pain, broken families, hurt children, and lasting damage that adultery causes. When we see adultery in entertainment, we should remember what Proverbs 5:20 teaches—that it's foolish and destructive, no matter how it's portrayed.

In Today's Culture

Our culture often sends the message that you should follow your feelings and that commitment doesn't matter as much as personal happiness. But this verse asks us to think deeper: Why throw away something precious for temporary pleasure? Why hurt the people you love most? True happiness comes from faithfulness, not from chasing after whatever feels good in the moment.

In Social Media

Social media can make it easy to reconnect with old boyfriends or girlfriends, or to have inappropriate conversations with people who aren't your spouse. Many affairs today start through social media. Proverbs 5:20 challenges us to be wise about how we use technology and to set boundaries that protect our marriages.

Conclusion

Proverbs 5:20 asks a simple but powerful question: "Why would you be unfaithful?" When we really think about this question, the answer becomes clear. There's no good reason to be unfaithful. Adultery destroys trust, breaks hearts, damages children, ruins reputations, and most importantly, disobeys God.

God designed marriage to be a beautiful picture of commitment, love, and faithfulness. When a husband and wife stay true to each other through good times and hard times, they experience a deep bond that grows stronger over the years. They build a stable home where children can grow up feeling secure. They become an example to others of what real love looks like.

The verses right before Proverbs 5:20 describe how wonderful marriage can be when both people are faithful. God wants you to experience that joy. He doesn't want you to throw it away for something that will only bring pain and regret.

Whether you're married now or hope to be married someday, commit yourself to faithfulness. Decide that you will honor your marriage vows (or your future marriage vows) no matter what. When you do this, you're choosing the path of wisdom. You're protecting yourself and others from tremendous pain. And you're honoring God, who designed marriage to be something sacred and beautiful.

Remember, God's commands aren't meant to take away our freedom or happiness. They're meant to guide us toward the very best life possible. Faithfulness in marriage is one of God's great gifts to us. Choose to embrace it, protect it, and enjoy it for all that it's worth.