Proverbs 3:31 is a powerful warning about looking up to the wrong kind of people. Sometimes people who use violence, force, or aggression seem to get what they want quickly. They might seem powerful or successful. But this verse tells us not to be jealous of them or copy their ways. God has a better path for us, and following violent methods will always lead to trouble in the end.
The Verse in Different Translations
Let's look at how different Bible versions translate this important verse:
What Does This Verse Mean?
Proverbs 3:31 contains two clear commands that work together. Let's break down each part to understand what God is telling us:
"Do not envy the violent"
Envy means wanting what someone else has or wishing you could be like them. The "violent" person is someone who uses force, aggression, intimidation, or cruelty to get ahead in life. This could be physical violence, but it also includes people who bully others, cheat to win, or hurt people with their words and actions to get power.
Sometimes these people look successful. They might be rich, popular, or seem to have everything they want. They got it by pushing others down, taking what isn't theirs, or forcing their way to the top. God warns us not to look at them and think, "I wish I had what they have" or "I wish I could do what they do."
"Or choose any of their ways"
This is the second command. Not only should we not envy violent people, but we definitely shouldn't copy them. We shouldn't think, "Well, their methods work, so maybe I should try that approach too."
God knows that when we're jealous of someone, the next step is often trying to be like them. If we start thinking that aggressive, forceful, or mean behavior gets results, we might be tempted to act that way ourselves. This verse tells us clearly: don't go down that road.
Understanding the Full Context
To really understand Proverbs 3:31, we need to see what comes before and after it. Let's read verses 31-35 together:
Violent and aggressive people often look successful on the outside, but it's temporary. Their power is built on fear, and fear doesn't last. People eventually rebel against bullies. Relationships built on force fall apart. Success gained through hurting others turns into shame.
God wants us to see past the surface. Yes, the violent person might have a nice car, a big house, or seem powerful today. But they don't have peace. They don't have real friendships. And they're building their life on sand that will wash away.
Why Do We Envy Violent People?
If violence is so wrong, why would anyone be jealous of violent people? Let's be honest about why this happens:
They Get Results Quickly
People who use force, aggression, or intimidation often get what they want fast. They push to the front of the line. They demand and receive. They threaten and people give in. When we're trying to succeed the right way—being patient, kind, and fair—it can take longer. We might look at the aggressive person and think their way works better.
They Seem Strong and Confident
Violent or aggressive people don't appear weak or vulnerable. They act tough, bold, and unafraid. If we feel small, scared, or powerless, we might wish we could have that kind of confidence and strength. We might think, "If only I could be that fearless."
People Often Don't Stop Them
Sometimes violent people seem to get away with their behavior. They bully others and nobody stands up to them. They take what they want and face no consequences—at least not right away. This can make us wonder if doing wrong really matters.
The Media Sometimes Glorifies Violence
Movies, TV shows, and video games often make violent characters look cool, powerful, or heroic. The "tough guy" who takes what he wants becomes the hero. When we see this over and over, we can start to believe that might makes right.
Practical Teaching Points
What can we learn from Proverbs 3:31 for our daily lives?
1. Success Isn't Just About Getting What You Want
Real success includes how you got there and what kind of person you became along the way. If you climbed over people, hurt others, or forced your way to the top, you might have what you wanted, but you lost your character. You lost relationships. You lost peace. That's not real success.
2. There's Always a Cost to Violence
Violence might seem to work in the short term, but it always has a cost. You lose people's respect. You damage relationships. You create enemies. You hurt your own soul by becoming someone cruel. Even if nobody stops you right away, the consequences will catch up eventually.
3. God's Way Takes Longer but Lasts Forever
Doing things God's way—with kindness, patience, honesty, and respect for others—takes more time. You might not get instant results. But what you build will last. You'll have real friends, not just people who fear you. You'll have true respect, not just compliance. You'll have inner peace.
4. Strength and Gentleness Aren't Opposites
Some people think you're either strong (and therefore aggressive) or gentle (and therefore weak). But that's not true. The strongest people are often the gentlest. It takes real strength to be kind when others are mean, to be patient when you could force your way, to lift others up instead of pushing them down.
5. Who You Admire Shapes Who You Become
We naturally become like the people we look up to. If you admire people who are aggressive, cruel, or violent, you'll start acting that way too. If you admire people who are wise, kind, and strong in gentle ways, you'll grow to be like them. Choose your heroes carefully.
Common Questions About This Verse
Does this verse mean we can never stand up for ourselves?
No. There's a big difference between defending yourself or others from harm and being a violent person. Self-defense is about protection. Violence as a way of life is about using force to get what you want or control others. God wants us to be strong and courageous, but not cruel or aggressive.
What if violent people really do seem to succeed?
They might succeed for a while, but their success is temporary. History is full of violent leaders and aggressive people who seemed unstoppable—until they fell. More importantly, their outward success hides their inner emptiness. They might have wealth or power, but they don't have peace, real love, or lasting happiness.
How can I stop envying people who seem to get ahead by being mean?
First, remember that you're only seeing part of their story. You see their car, their house, their apparent success. You don't see their broken relationships, their fear, their loneliness, or the consequences that are coming. Second, focus on building your own life God's way. When you invest in character, relationships, and doing what's right, you'll find a deep satisfaction that aggressive people never experience.
What does "violent" mean in today's world?
While it includes physical violence, it also means anyone who uses force, aggression, or cruelty to get ahead. This could be a boss who screams and intimidates employees, a student who bullies classmates to be popular, someone who cheats and lies to win, or a person who tears others down with hurtful words to feel powerful. Any method that hurts others to benefit yourself falls into this category.
Connection to Modern Life and Culture
The wisdom of Proverbs 3:31 appears in many stories and cultural moments, even when people don't realize they're echoing this biblical truth:
The Bully Who Falls
Movies and shows often feature a storyline where the biggest bully in school seems to have it all—everyone fears them, and they get their way. But by the end, they're exposed as insecure, lonely, and ultimately defeated. Stories like "A Christmas Story" (with Scut Farkus), "Matilda" (with Trunchbull), and "Back to the Future" (with Biff) all show that violence and bullying lead to downfall, not real success.
Sports and Competition
In professional sports, we sometimes see athletes who use dirty tactics, cheat, or play aggressively beyond the rules. They might win games, but they rarely win respect. The athletes we remember and honor decades later are usually those who played with both skill and integrity—people like Jackie Robinson, who faced horrible treatment but responded with grace and excellence.
Business Leaders
The business world has plenty of examples of aggressive, ruthless people who clawed their way to the top by hurting others. Some become wealthy. But we also see them fall in scandals, face lawsuits, or watch their companies collapse. Meanwhile, leaders who built businesses on treating people well—like companies known for great workplace cultures—often succeed for generations.
Social Media and Cancel Culture
On social media, some people gain followers by being mean, aggressive, or attacking others. They go viral for their harsh words. But this kind of influence is shallow and temporary. The people who build lasting, positive influence are those who use their platform to encourage, teach, and lift others up.
Many video games and shows feature violence as entertainment. This isn't necessarily wrong—fictional stories can explore serious themes. But Proverbs 3:31 reminds us to be careful. If we spend hours admiring violent characters or thinking aggressive behavior is cool, it can shape our thinking in real life. Entertainment is fine, but don't let it change your values or make you think violence is an acceptable way to solve problems.
Related Bible Verses
Proverbs 3:31 connects to many other passages in the Bible that teach similar lessons:
How to Apply This Verse Today
Here are practical ways to apply the truth of Proverbs 3:31 to your life:
- Check your role models: Make a list of people you admire or want to be like. Are they people of character who treat others well? Or are they people who succeed through aggression, meanness, or force? Choose role models who reflect God's values.
- Monitor your media: Pay attention to the shows, movies, games, and social media accounts you follow. Are they making violence look cool or glamorous? It's okay to enjoy entertainment, but be aware if it's shaping your view of how to succeed in life.
- Respond to aggression differently: When someone is mean, pushy, or aggressive toward you, you don't have to respond the same way. Instead of fighting fire with fire, try responding with calm strength. This is harder but more powerful in the long run.
- Celebrate character over results: Start noticing and praising people who do things the right way, even if they don't "win" in the world's eyes. Encourage the kid who was kind even though he didn't make the team. Respect the person who stood up for what's right even though it cost them. Value character.
- Be patient with God's timing: When it feels like mean people are getting ahead and you're falling behind, remember that God sees everything. His justice is coming. Your job is to keep doing what's right and trust that God will take care of the rest.
- Pray for strength to be different: It's hard to go against the world's values. Ask God to give you the strength to be gentle when others are harsh, patient when others are aggressive, and kind when others are cruel. This kind of strength only comes from God.
A Warning About Power
One reason people envy the violent is because violent people seem powerful. They can make things happen. They can force their will on others. Power feels attractive when you feel powerless.
But Proverbs 3:31 teaches us that there are two kinds of power. There's the power of force—using your strength to make people do what you want through fear or intimidation. And there's the power of influence—earning people's respect and trust so they want to follow you.
The power of force is fast but fragile. As soon as you stop being the strongest or the scariest, you lose it. The power of influence is slower to build but it lasts. It grows stronger over time because it's built on trust, respect, and genuine relationships.
God wants you to have the second kind of power. He wants you to influence people through your character, your wisdom, your kindness, and your strength that's wrapped in gentleness. This is real power—the kind that changes hearts instead of just controlling behavior.
Conclusion
Proverbs 3:31 protects us from a trap that catches many people. The violent, aggressive person looks successful. They seem to get what they want. They appear strong and fearless. And we might be tempted to think, "Maybe I should be more like that."
But God says, "Stop. Don't go there." He sees what we can't see. He knows that violence leads to destruction. He knows that aggression creates enemies. He knows that force might work today but fails tomorrow. He knows that becoming a cruel person to get ahead means losing your soul in the process.
God offers us a better way. His path takes longer. It requires patience, self-control, and trust. You have to believe that doing right will pay off even when it doesn't seem to be working. You have to keep being kind when others are mean, honest when others cheat, gentle when others are harsh.
But the reward is worth it. You keep your soul. You build real relationships. You earn genuine respect. You have peace. And in the end—as verse 35 promises—you inherit honor while those who chose violence end up with shame.
Don't envy the violent. Don't copy their ways. Trust God's path. It's better, even when it's harder. And remember: the strongest person in any room is often the one who's strong enough to be gentle.