Proverbs 11:13

Proverbs 11:13 teaches us an important lesson about how we handle private information and secrets. This verse shows us two very different types of people—the gossip who spreads secrets and the trustworthy person who keeps them. In a world where information spreads quickly and gossip is common, this ancient wisdom is more important than ever.

The Verse in Different Translations

Let's look at how different Bible versions translate this important verse:

"A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret."

— Proverbs 11:13 (NIV)

"Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered."

— Proverbs 11:13 (ESV)

"A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter."

— Proverbs 11:13 (KJV)

"A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence."

— Proverbs 11:13 (NLT)

What Does This Verse Mean?

Proverbs 11:13 gives us a clear comparison between two types of people. Let's break down each part of this verse:

"A gossip betrays a confidence"

A "gossip" (sometimes called a "talebearer" in older translations) is someone who spreads private information about others. When someone tells them something in confidence—meaning they trust that person to keep it private—the gossip betrays that trust by telling others.

The word "betrays" is strong. It means to break a promise or to be disloyal. When we share someone's secret, we're not just making a mistake—we're breaking their trust. We're proving that we can't be relied on to keep our word.

Gossip can take many forms. It might be sharing someone's personal struggles, repeating private conversations, spreading rumors, or revealing information someone shared with us in confidence. Whatever form it takes, gossip damages relationships and hurts people.

"But a trustworthy person keeps a secret"

A "trustworthy person" (or someone "faithful in spirit") is the opposite of a gossip. This is someone who can be counted on to keep private information private. When they make a promise to keep a secret, they actually keep it.

The ESV translation says this person "keeps a thing covered." This is a beautiful picture—just like you might cover something valuable to protect it, a trustworthy person protects the private information others share with them. They guard it carefully.

Being trustworthy is about more than just keeping secrets. It's about having good character. It means you value loyalty, respect, and honoring your commitments to others.

Understanding the Full Context

Proverbs 11:13 is part of a chapter that contrasts wise and foolish behaviors. Let's look at some nearby verses to get the full picture:

"With their mouths the godless destroy their neighbors, but through knowledge the righteous escape."

— Proverbs 11:9 (NIV)

This verse, just a few verses earlier, reminds us that our words have power. They can destroy relationships and hurt people. The righteous (those who do what's right) know how to use their words wisely.

"Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue."

— Proverbs 11:12 (NIV)

The verse right before Proverbs 11:13 talks about the wisdom of controlling what we say. Someone who makes fun of their neighbor shows they lack wisdom, but someone who understands keeps quiet. This connects to verse 13—sometimes the wisest thing is to say nothing at all.

The Power of Our Words

Proverbs 11:13 fits into a larger theme throughout the book of Proverbs about the power of our words. Our speech can either build people up or tear them down. It can create trust or destroy it. The wise person learns to control their tongue and use words carefully.

Gossip might seem harmless, but this verse shows us it's actually a form of betrayal. When we gossip, we're proving that people can't trust us with sensitive information.

Practical Teaching Points

What can we learn from Proverbs 11:13 for our daily lives?

1. Trust Is Earned Through Loyalty

People learn to trust us based on how we handle their private information. If you keep telling other people's secrets, word will get around. Eventually, no one will trust you with anything personal. But if you're known as someone who keeps confidences, people will feel safe opening up to you.

2. Gossip Damages More Than Just the Person You Talk About

When you gossip about someone, you hurt that person. But you also damage your own reputation and your relationship with the person you're gossiping to. After all, if you gossip about others, the person listening knows you'll probably gossip about them too.

3. Sometimes Keeping Quiet Is the Right Choice

Not every piece of information needs to be shared. Just because you know something doesn't mean you need to tell everyone. Part of wisdom is knowing when to speak and when to stay silent. If someone trusted you with private information, honor that trust by keeping it to yourself.

4. Being Trustworthy Makes You Valuable

In a world full of gossip and broken trust, someone who can keep a secret is rare and valuable. Leaders, friends, and family members all need people they can trust. By being trustworthy, you become someone others can rely on in their most vulnerable moments.

5. Our Character Shows in How We Treat Private Information

The way you handle secrets reveals something about your character. Do you respect other people's privacy? Can you resist the temptation to share juicy information? Do you keep your promises? These questions show what kind of person you really are.

Questions and Answers About Proverbs 11:13

What exactly counts as gossip?

Gossip is sharing private or personal information about someone when you don't need to and when it's not your information to share. This includes spreading rumors, sharing someone's struggles or secrets, talking about someone's personal business, or passing along information that was told to you in confidence. Even if what you're saying is true, it can still be gossip if it's not necessary to share and it invades someone's privacy.

Is it always wrong to share information about someone else?

No, there are times when sharing information is necessary and right. For example, if someone is in danger or planning to hurt themselves or others, you should tell a trusted adult or authority figure. If someone asks you for a reference about a person, you may need to share relevant information honestly. The key difference is your motive—are you sharing to help someone, or are you sharing because you like spreading secrets? Also, consider whether the information is yours to share or if it was told to you in confidence.

What should I do if someone starts gossiping to me?

You have several options. You can change the subject to something more positive. You can gently say something like "I don't think we should be talking about this" or "I'd rather not discuss someone who isn't here to speak for themselves." You can also simply refuse to engage—don't ask questions, don't add your own comments, and don't act interested. If the person keeps gossiping, you might need to be more direct or excuse yourself from the conversation.

How can I become more trustworthy?

Start by making a commitment to keep confidences. When someone tells you something private, guard that information. Don't share it with anyone unless you have permission or there's a serious safety concern. Also, be careful about what you promise. Don't promise to keep a secret if you're not sure you can. Practice thinking before you speak—pause and ask yourself if what you're about to say needs to be said. Over time, people will notice that you're reliable and trustworthy.

What if I've already gossiped about someone? Can I fix it?

Yes, you can start making it right. First, stop gossiping about that person immediately. If possible, go to the people you gossiped to and admit you were wrong. Tell them the gossip should stop with them. Then, if appropriate, apologize to the person you gossiped about. Let them know you're sorry and that you're working on being more trustworthy. Finally, make a commitment to change. It takes time to rebuild trust, but with consistent trustworthy behavior, you can repair your reputation.

Related Bible Verses

The Bible has much more to say about gossip, trust, and controlling our words. Here are some related passages:

"Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down."

— Proverbs 26:20

This verse teaches us that gossip keeps conflicts going. Just like fire needs wood to keep burning, arguments need gossip to keep going. When people stop gossiping, conflicts can finally end. This shows how destructive gossip can be to relationships and communities.

"Do not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor's life. I am the Lord."

— Leviticus 19:16

God takes gossip and slander seriously. In Old Testament law, He specifically commanded His people not to spread gossip. This shows that gossip isn't just bad manners—it's a sin that God cares about. Notice that He connects gossip with endangering someone's life, showing how harmful it can be.

"The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts."

— Proverbs 18:8 (NIV)

This verse explains why gossip is so tempting. It's like delicious food—hard to resist! Gossip appeals to our curiosity and makes us feel like we're "in the know." But just because something is tempting doesn't mean it's good for us. The verse warns us that gossip affects us deeply, going into our "inmost parts."

"Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech."

— 1 Peter 3:10

Peter teaches that if we want to enjoy life and have good days, we need to control what we say. This includes avoiding gossip, lies, and hurtful speech. The way we use our words directly affects the quality of our life and relationships.

"A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends."

— Proverbs 16:28

This verse shows one of the most painful effects of gossip—it can destroy even close friendships. When gossip gets between friends, it creates suspicion, hurt feelings, and broken trust. Friendships that took years to build can be destroyed by gossip in moments.

Modern Examples and Applications

How does Proverbs 11:13 apply in today's world?

Social Media and Gossip

In Bible times, gossip spread by word of mouth. Today, it can spread to thousands of people in seconds through social media, texts, and online posts. Before you share something about someone online, ask yourself: Would I want this said about me? Is this information mine to share? Am I building this person up or tearing them down?

Remember, once something is online, it's almost impossible to completely erase. That makes being trustworthy even more important in the digital age.

In the Workplace

Being known as trustworthy at work can open doors for your career. Leaders need people they can trust with sensitive information. If you prove you can keep confidences, you might be trusted with more responsibility. On the other hand, if you're known as someone who gossips in the break room, you might find yourself left out of important conversations.

In Friendships

True friendship requires trust. Your friends need to know they can tell you their struggles, fears, and mistakes without worrying you'll tell everyone else. Being a trustworthy friend means your friends feel safe being honest with you. This creates deeper, more meaningful relationships.

In Families

Families often share private information with each other. Maybe your sister tells you about a problem at school, or your parent shares a worry with you. Keeping family confidences builds trust and makes your home a safe place where people can be open and honest.

How to Apply This Verse Today

Here are practical ways to live out the truth of Proverbs 11:13:

Practice the pause: Before sharing information about someone, stop and think. Ask yourself: Is this mine to share? Would this person want me to tell others? Is this gossip or necessary information?
Build a reputation for trustworthiness: Let people know through your actions that they can trust you. When someone tells you something in confidence, keep it to yourself. Over time, you'll be known as a safe person to talk to.
Avoid gossip circles: If certain people or groups are known for gossiping, don't participate. Change the subject, excuse yourself, or find different people to spend time with.
Think before you text or post: In the digital age, gossip can spread faster than ever. Before sending a message or making a post about someone else, consider whether you're respecting their privacy.
Be honest about what you can keep confidential: If someone is about to tell you something and you're not sure you can keep it secret (maybe because it involves safety concerns), be honest upfront. Say "I want to be trustworthy, so if this is about something dangerous, I might need to tell someone who can help."
Apologize when you fail: If you realize you've gossiped, own up to it. Tell the person you gossiped to that it was wrong, and if appropriate, apologize to the person you talked about. Then commit to doing better.
Speak positively: Instead of gossiping, practice saying good things about people when they're not around. Build others up instead of tearing them down.

Conclusion

Proverbs 11:13 gives us a clear choice: Will we be the gossip who betrays confidence, or the trustworthy person who keeps secrets? This choice affects our relationships, our reputation, and our character.

In a world where privacy is rare and gossip is everywhere, being trustworthy makes you stand out. People are looking for someone they can trust with their struggles, their fears, and their secrets. When you prove you can keep a confidence, you become that rare and valuable friend.

Gossip might seem harmless or even entertaining, but it breaks trust and damages relationships. It shows a lack of respect for others and reveals weakness in our character. On the other hand, keeping confidences shows strength, self-control, and genuine love for others.

The question this verse asks each of us is simple: What kind of person will you be? When someone trusts you with private information, what will you do with it? Will you guard it like something precious, or will you treat it carelessly?

Choose to be trustworthy. Choose to keep confidences. In doing so, you'll build deeper friendships, earn respect, and become the kind of person others can count on. Most importantly, you'll be honoring God, who values loyalty, integrity, and love for others.

Remember, every time you're tempted to gossip, you have a choice. Make the choice that builds trust, protects relationships, and honors the confidence others have placed in you. Be the trustworthy person God calls you to be.